It was my birthday on Friday! In observance of what is a holiday weekend in my world, Andrew is taking over for me on this post. Especially since there was such a happy reaction to him going monthly here 
Here’s the dude!
This year I wanted to make especially sure that I planned a perfect birthday for my hardworking, super type-A wife (you’ll find out the boyfriend thing soon enough, stay with me). When the day-of rolled around, I had set up everything with the best of intentions, and while not everything went exactly to plan, things really worked out overall! So after a few years of working on perfecting my birthday strategies, I thought I would share a few tips I’ve learned from my misadventures in planning a significant other’s birthday.
1. Plan ahead (and stick to it)! This is definitely not my strong suit. I am much more the stereotypical guy in that I would often wait until the last minute and figure it out in the moment. So not cool for birthdays. This year I planned ahead, I still left a few too many details in the fuzzy category. The end result was that I ran out of time on a couple of items so that presents weren’t wrapped, the card wasn’t inscribed, and I wasn’t able to pick up the cake ahead of time. These are somewhat important details to have done, wouldn’t you agree?
2. Have a timeline (and answers)! If your significant other is anything like my wife, she likes to know what to prepare for on her birthday (or any day for that matter). I can’t blame her though – it’s nice to at least provide helpful details such as “No, honey, we will not be needing your beekeeping suit. Please be wearing regular clothes by 5pm.” Believe me, you don’t want to tell someone you don’t know when they’ll know what to wear (especially if they take more than 2 minutes to get ready, which most of us do). A lack of answers & timing is about as helpful as a screen door on a submarine that doesn’t know when it’s going underwater.
3. Surprises are your friend (try not to betray them)! When sharing details from your timeline try not to give away too much information. If you’re anything like us, your SO is very good at reading your terrible pokerface when it comes to birthday surprises. I am fairly confident that Shantelle managed to figure out what at least two of her birthday presents were prior to opening them because I have a big mouth. That’s the whole tip: keep quiet when releasing details!
4. Buy gifts for them (not you)! Sometimes you have to state the obvious to reinforce just how important it is. Would you buy someone a fancy necklace if they never wear jewelry? No! Even if the thought behind the gesture is genuine, buy for your target market (AKA the person you’re buying for). By paying attention to the subtle and not so subtle hints about what they would like for their birthday you can probably come up with at least one foolproof gift idea (which I had two, ha!).
5. Save the best for last! You could also call this one your “ace in the hole” or the Amelia Bedelia strategy. This birthday trump card could be a gift, an experience, a surprise party, anything just as long as it’s something they will really enjoy. Even if your timeline falls apart, they find out their gift (because you have a clairvoyant wife), and you also ended up buying them a softball glove when they don’t play, you’ll still be able to recover and become the birthday hero you were meant to be!
In all honesty, before this year I did not follow the above tips. Birthdays were average affairs but I was determined to change it all. This year I started working on Shantelle’s gifts well in advance of her birthday and the extra time allowed me the opportunity to contact one of her favorite authors and get a signed & inscribed copy of her favorite book (Amelia Bedelia strategy!). I made a timeline and had concrete answers for when she needed to be ready (timeline strategy!). I also made sure to put in an order for a custom cake from Whole Foods (not a strategy, just really good cake which calms all fears with sugar). But the best part of her birthday this year was the result of a happy coincidence (another Amelia Bedelia strategy. What? You can never ensure your job position too much).
It just so happens that the 5 man Canadian comedy group Kids in the Hall are on tour this year, more than 20 years since their sketch show went off the air. Shantelle just so happens to be a huge fan. It also just so happens that when she found out that they would be performing live at the DPAC on her birthday she dropped a very “””subtle””” (believe me, the extra quotations are needed on this one) hint that she wanted to go see them. In following my secret strategy, her mom bought the tickets, we tried to keep it a secret (which I did a terrible job with – too excited), and when showtime finally rolled around Shantelle was happier than a kid in an explicitly worded candy shop. While I hadn’t known much about them prior to the show (other than head crusher, which Shantelle told me about) it didn’t matter. Per the hilarious troupe, the only people willingly at their show were 41 year old boyfriends that dragged their ladies there. My plan went off without a hitch and I made my 41 year old boyfriend very happy. Incidentally, I’d never been happier to be a trophy girlfriend!
I hope you all had a wonderful “holiday weekend” while we were out celebrating Shantelle’s birthday. I also hope you got something useful out of this post, even if it’s that Kids in the Hall fans are all 41 year old men. If you have any suggestions on how to plan a birthday please let me know – I fear I still have a lot to learn in the ways of interrogation from a spouse intent on finding out her birthday surprises!
Wishing you explicitly worded candy shops,
Andrew
PS – the closing is all Shantelle.
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